Life aint shit but bitches and ...

Its been a while and I was on a roll there for a while. I am on the bus right now, buzzed as fuck because 2 shots of jameson and 4 guniess in 30 mins does a body good. Let's do a little recap... So sat, I neglected to say I hung with sarah middletown on her bday at her pool party. There was a crew of bitches and me and danny ginger brought the cock and smores...for real. This week has been insane- side not, some creep on the bus just rubbed the back of his ear and smelled it to see if he had ear cheese..CREEP..Anyways. I had the day off yesterday and played golf with the old man. He fucked me up as usual and I went to costco with noura. That place is a breeding ground for motherfuckers who can't walk. I did pick up a basketball and I am ready to make it rain on all you motherfuckers. Friday I got the roller derby boxing match, sat is less then jake, westbound train (fuck goldfinger) and sunday is golf I think. Get some stank on ur hanglow....

Weekend Recap Bitches

Holy shit...what can I say about this weekend... Friday night, the weeding was off the chain, brah! Mitch and I shared a few too many shots of whiskey, my new friends Brody and Clown Pussy shared way too many Guiness and weird shots...Apparently there are pictures of me all over the place dancing. I did Dance with Adam's Grandma to baby got back. She got moves! Bonnie and Adam looked great and we all had a good time. Hands down, great fucking time... Sat.......played golf with the old man. He kicked my ass as always but I will beat him once. I will make him my bitch. Sunday was Kim's mom's wake. Total fucking bum out. I feel so bad. I got your back though. I then had Thai food with Noura at Chris Pham's place. He gave me the greatest present ever. There is an Indian store next door to the resturant and he jacked some kids sing along poster. the kind slook like little indian gangstas. I need to take a picture of this monstrosity and show everyone! I will start posting stories soon and you fools better start reading and posting. Blogging is kinda gay...

Fucking Weddings

Don't get me wrong. Peoples display of love is great. I am extremely happy for both of my friends. Bonnie looks amazing and Adam is mighty dapper. But, what I hate about this bullshit is the fakeness that happens. You have divorced members of the family acting like they love/can tolerate one another for this joyus event. Fucking hate eachother because that is more real then lying. And aparently according to my new asian friend (whose name I do not rememeber but she is the only chinamen or asian american which is the perfered nomenclature) "weddings get bitches wet". I am having a good time but where is the fight and bickering and name calling that being married is all about. Let's start this shit right and get out drink on. The vagina is prevelant and so is the beer. Best of both worlds.


-Bean

In the begining.....

Over the last few years, the amount of things that have happened to me/I have been a part of have been unbelievable. Now, most of you who are going to read this are going to think I am full of shit, BUT, rest assured that every story I tell is true and the same should go for you. The only thing I will not tolerate is spam ads and lies... I am sure that in the beginning most of you know me or know of the legend that is Bean so you know the brain mouth filter does not exist and you know the shit i am capable of getting into. I say things that most people find offensive, tasteless, crude and heartless. Oh well, if you do not like what I write, read a different blog. That is the beauty of the first amendment and I am sure Oprah or Martha Stewart has one (she did coin the term intro-rectal-gestion). I am getting used the this phenomenon that is blogging and how to set it up so everyone can post stories. I may do it by category (mistakes, regrets, drunken nights, how I almost killed myself, stupid shit I have done...) since I am sure we all have one that fits each category! I am also open to suggestions too. Holla atch boy to get it all done up right. I have many boring hours sitting on the bus commuting and most of my best ideas/angry moments come from that experience. Expect to have your faces melted and organs ruptured with both laughter and offensiveness....

Love,
Bean